I HATE SQUIRTY CREAM AND WET WIPES.

Like why would you use squirty cream it all foamy and shit like jizz from a dog with rabies, it's nasty. It doesn't enhance the enjoyment of a dessert (for example: apple pie) it merely reduces the delectable effect of the pastry and fruit combination. If you are a true connoisseur of desserts (such as apple pie), you should recognize the fact that clotted cream or double cream are the true upper echelon of creams, if you think otherwise u iz stupid.

As far as wet wipes are concerned, if you believe wiping with a wet wipe after defecation is normal, then you are an uncivilized mongoloid who lives solely on brillo pads and un-buttered crackers. Fuck you if you wipe you're ass with a wet wipe.

In addition to this, i'm extremely racist to people of blue complexion. Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with those people, these ocean colored fucks take our jobs (picking smurf berries, playing pipes like they're instruments) and add nothing of value to society. It is one day my wish that people of that kind are taken to a camp to improve their concentration on becoming more valued members of our society (i haven't thought of a name yet).

Also if you want to know more about my business venture DickYoga (trademark pending) then i implore you to contact me on my twitter @YogaDickMaster1 where we can discuss the product and the philosophy further.

P.S FUCK FISHER, HE GAY.